bedambedam
bendamron's Cancer Blog
April 23, 2008
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last monday dr. otero decided to stop the cetuximab antibody therapy and switch to panitumumab. we’ll see how she reacts. the cancerous fluids in her abdominal cavity is worse than we thought it to be. tumors so small that ct scans can’t detect is causing fluid build up and of course tag teamed by the liver as well. angel’s magnesium levels have been critical, so the past three days she’s had daily infusions, a quart per visit. two more to go this week. she had another paracentesis yesterday for some more comfort. three quarts this time. she is considering to have a port placed so we can drain the fluid at will. dr. otero said that there shouldn’t be any clotting complications, but the fear of infection is always present. clinic visits aren’t troublesome for me, but perhaps for angel’s energy level, the port might be a good alternative. i still can’t believe all of this is happening to my best friend.
angel’s appetite is still an issue. she knows she has to eat, she tries really hard like with everything else, but it’s just too difficult. small meals (bites) and small 8 oz smoothies is mostly what keeps her going. i have terrible butterflies thinking about everything, it seems so much for one person to handle at times, but i’m not alone. people ask me “how do you do it?” i reply with all i know to be true “i do it because i am trying to preserve my future and everything i’ve wanted in life.” anyone would do the same in my situation. my support is incredible and whom have been heavily involved since the diagnosis.
renae came into to town a few days early to help out and just be. we all realize that this week will be very stressful and another helpful hand will be of great help. angel’s god brother matt and his fiancee will be in town this saturday for a few. his energy will no doubt spark some life into the weekend.
we meet with dr. sam whiting at seattle cancer care (UW) tomorrow morning to make sure everything that can be done is happening. regrettably, i fear dr. otero is doing everything possible. but maybe sam has a trick or two.
05.04.08 - 
Thanks for your support -
Every time I read your posts I admire you more brother.
Hey cowboy! I hear ya mang!
This struggle is draining and difficult to maintain at times. The people that ask how are you doing it are trying to help. However the reality is that it’s from your heart and soul. Period. You are one amazing person and that’s what amazing people do.
I feel you and appreciate your support. I’m with you too man!
Thanks for the Love…
Timothy
Every upbeat, thing I would type sounds so hollow, when your post shows such a heavy heart.
You are doing a wonderful job, taking care of your “best friend”, and sometimes that is all you can do. I pray for you both daily, along with the rest of us fighting this enemy.
Even across cyber space I send you both hugs and love. And, if it were possible, a shoulder to cry on.
Blessings and peace to you both
Mac
Ben,
You and your beautiful Angel are so lucky to have each other. I can not even begin to imagine what you both are going through. My heart aches for you. I am also so moved by the deep love between you. Thank you for having the strength to share your journey with others. Thank you.
Be strong.
Wendy