bedambedam
bendamron's Cancer Blog
April 18, 2008
| ascites returns the next day! | Views: 316 |
(SH*T!) the relief of the paracentesis was short lived. the following morning, angel and i could both see the ascites had already started to come back. also the lack of appetite and slight pain has returned that’s associated with this effect too. we’ll schedule another paracentesis next week, and monitor angel’s pain until then.
the biopsy on this fluid came back positive for cancerous cells. (SH*T!) hard news to swallow. i’ll need to ask dr. otero whether this cancer is new, or just residual from the tumors on her liver, or perhaps something new altogether. i’m not sure if it matters. this is a huge set back. this obviously worries us all, but will stay cool until we learn more about the cause and effects of this.
on monday, angel will switch to a brand new monoclonal antibody named panitumumab. it works much like the cetuximab and prevents further tumor growth. i’m not sure what the following week will be like, whether she’ll continue with the full regimen or not. her bilirubins have climbed week by week, and a tint of yellow is visible in the corners of her whites. no answers yet, but will make certain to fire away on monday.
renae comes into town next friday, i hope we can give her some good news about moving forward with UW. angel has been reluctant about leaving the incredible dr. otero, but now feels it’s time to move on to specialists. her loyalty to otero is strong, but she knows being loyal to herself is foremost. we’re not looking for a miracle (maybe a little), we know the gravity of the situation, and being with specialists brings a little bit of lightness. we hope that their experience with colon cancer will help angel be in less pain if/when new things arise.
sorry for the straight forwardness. i don’t enjoy bummer posts like this, and relieved that i’ve finished this update.
05.04.08 - 
Thanks for your support -
Never apologize for being straight forward and mad as hell at cancer! The only way to beat this miserable disease is to fight like a rabid dog!
Pray for your angel to get her miracle. I will pray with you or for you, because my God is in the miracle business.
Stay angry at the disease, it is the only way to defeat it’s rotten ass.
Nothing but good things for you both, sent with the love of a survivor.
Mac
WOw! You don’t know how to spell SHIT?
Opppps! Is that a no no?
Yo. Seriously, if you need to, keep expressing yourself no matter what. You have us/this blog as an outlet and are doing soooo much to support that lovely lady of yours. The love that you show is incredible and I am impressed and awed by your positive attitude. The ebb and flow is natural. Try to be kind to yourself and forgiving of the emotions/feelings that come up. They are natural and need to be acknowledged before we can let go of them…..
Mad Love to you both!
Timotay-O
Dear Ben and Angel. I can’t imagine the blow that you received this past week regarding the Cancer showing up in the fluid. God cancer sucks! You have every right to be mad, angry, disappointed, upset and just plain confused. There are no real answers on why this should happen to Angel. If there are miracles that happen you can be rest assured that we are all praying for Angel and for you too Ben. Your updates are most appreciated and do help us all to understand your fight. It does inspire most and really puts a perspective on how severe Cancer can be. I guess if one is well, not with Cancer, they don’t want to know anything remotely close to cancer and its’ devastating effects on the person who has it and the family and friends who watch from a distance. Thank god that this blog is here for all of us who joined. We do appreciate you keeping us informed of Angel’s progress as it feels as if we know you both and we are praying like mad that something of a miracle can happen. You have both shown all of us such courage and commitment, strength of character, love for each other. How can we thank you enough? We will simply keep praying. God bless you Angel and Ben.
Weezie from Canada eh.