bendamron's Cancer Blog

March 14, 2008

Gilda's Club Wellness Groups

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tonight angel attended her first gilda’s club wellness group. she’s been anticipating this support group with mixed feelings for a couple weeks now. she knows it’s a good way to meet others who are surviving cancer, and to get the sense of belonging with people who truly get it. i hope she finds the strength and encouragement from these survivors that we cannot offer her.

while she was with her group, i attended a group of my own specifically for people with loved ones who are surviving cancer. i was really excited. i too wanted that feeling of belonging. others in my group were spouses-caretakers, siblings and daughters. i introduced myself and choked up and cried like a baby. the most difficult, which i thought wouldn’t an issue were saying the words ‘stage IV’ and ‘my 30 year old wife’. it felt so good though even though i felt totally naked in a room full of strangers. words were flying out of my mouth, and i’m not even sure if it all made sense. some of it must have because i saw that they were shedding a few of their own.
i felt welcomed immediately and i brought up topics i had never shared with anyone else before. i now belonged to this club of people who’s lives (and their loved ones) had been stopped abruptly, and our lives detoured into chaotic ones. the conversation flowed, and although everyone there had different cancers, the one thing that solidified us all was the boundless love we felt for our own survivor. before i knew it, two hours had passed, and i was still needing more. i will go every tuesday from now on. i can’t wait to continue the conversations.

afterwards, angel and i went across the street for her tempura rolls. she tells me the same thing every time (full mouth+food) “i just love these things, i don’t know why, but i just do.” it’s very endearing, and makes me weak inside watching her enjoy something so much.

on other notes, angel is having an MRI this thursday morning, she sort of insisted on it last monday. she has felt a little dizzy, and occasional double vision. although she is aware of the side effect of ‘chemo brain’ (absentmindedness, forgetfulness, inability to multitask on a regular basis, formulating words as she types, etc) she wants to rule out that it is not cancer. it’s a good call on her part.

Posted on March 14, 2008 at 6:47:22 PM by angel & ben ( Gilda's Club Wellness Groups, 0 comments)