bendamron's Cancer Blog

March 14, 2008

the new year Views: 45

dang it, another snag. today was treatment day, mentally ready and my schedule mostly cleared to hang with angel during her recovery days. the morning started early to see dr malpass. after waiting around and explaining the blood clot ordeal, and then the usual blood tests. she was sent home, but not before a trip to the coumadin clinic, because her white blood cells were too low for chemo. she’ll check back in this tuesday. a little lunch with lan, and then they went home. but before they could settle down for the night, and damn it, i was stoked to hang out tonight, angel’s temp was 101.6. last week the nurses told her to go in immediately once this came up, so off they rushed to the e.r.
i met them here after a work day onsite. i am writing this in the waiting room while angel is getting another ct scan to check her lungs. i can’t really say what’s happening, and won’t assume anything until i hear myself. i will update once this happens.

...five hours later 3:15am…

i am sitting here with angel by my side. we’re in another private room on the 15th floor, the oncology level. angel’s ct scan came up positive for a pulmonary embolism with ‘quite a few’ blot clots that broke off from the clot in her leg. i later find out that (i forgot the name already, but will take notes when the ‘team’ of docs return later this morning) but one clot is quite big and is in her right lung, along with many smaller ones in various places. damn, there’s a lot of info to tell here and i’m afraid i’m leaving stuff out. as i say too often, but i will fill in the blanks later. or better yet, email or call me if you have any questions. anyways, this embolism sounds more severe than they really are? or am i just comparing it to stage 4 cancer? these complications freaking suck. can’t she have one stretch of time to focus on the cancer, instead of these pesky to serious complications. selfishly, i was really looking forward to this week with angel not having chemo/lame-o side effects.

angel is dazing in and out right now, and her last temp read 103Âº! the nurse bravely called dr malpass around 2 am, to see if tylenol was okay to use to help subdue the fever. thumbs up. and now we wait. angel is still short of breath, and even has oxygen hooked up. it’s quite the sight. i couldn’t have imagined this a year ago. this pretty much effs me up to watch angel in this condition. it’s unreal, and i have to stop myself and remember this has only been going on for less than two months! in her daze, she asks me if i’m getting tired of her, we have had this one sided discussions before. my reply is always the most sincere and just flows out of me. i can’t imagine being with anyone else but you. and whatever i might be going through is minute in comparison. i am here for you. you are my best friend. my match. my soul mate.

i am exhausted from lack of sleep. good morning.

the time is 7:30 now, and dr malpass has made his rounds. because of the severity of the clot, he used the term ‘rather large’ clot in the lung, that she will have an upside down umbrella looking stint inserted (non-invasive) to catch any additional clot breakage that might travel to her lungs. and again, i will explain more as we learn more. he also suggested lovenox for at least a six month period, it’s those lovely shots i gave angel at susan’s. that’s twice per day, and they cost a fortune ($13 per shot with 80% insurance coverage!). so we’re hoping she can keep taking coumadin which cost pennies compared to lovenox. don’t get me wrong, if she needs the lovenox, that’s what we’ll get her. her health is tops on my list. there might be confusion as far as what actually did not work (or worked too much), the coumadin or lovenox. she was on both, and then off both at the same time for three days until the fever hit. btw, the fever is down now to almost normal! guess we’ll talk to malpass again and clear this up.
angel is now sleeping, gathering her strength for this little battle ahead. i love her strength about this entire situation. i love her so much. i love that she is so aware of what’s happening to her body. never discount what she says about anything concerning this. she has rushed to the e.r. three times now, and was correct each and every time. and all three quite possibly could’ve saved her own life. she’s become her own little hero ;)

i am off to see skylar, she’s probably lonely and thoughts of abandonment have probably crossed her mind once or twice. i feel she has a sense of what’s taking place. poor girl must be a little confused.

Posted on March 14, 2008 at 5:55:52 PM by angel & ben ( Link to this post.