bendamron's Cancer Blog

January 11, 2008

"it's not whether you get knocked down...."

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malpass met with us this morning and discussed the ct scan from yesterday. he says the tumor in angel’s liver has grown since starting chemo on dec 3. we were really hoping that an infection was the reasoning behind her low and high fevers and pulse rates and not the tumor growth. which could be taken care of by antibiotics. avastin was finally introduced into the chemo regimen which helps, if it works at all, to keep new tumors from growing and spreading, but not shrinkage. malpass is hoping that the rise of the cea count will plateau and go down with more chemo. any bit of hope is good.
my morning was really tough, the news of her tumor growth was another kick to my stomach. it felt much like when i heard the original diagnosis, shock, disbelief, dark thoughts and the physical affects that go along with these. it’s a nightmare! my heart feels like it’s going to burst open when i look at angel just lying there.
i am one with angel and i feel as if i am going through the same suffering as her. i am so weak with sadness and quiet tears. it’s just taking some time to absorb the news before the positive, fighting mode kicks into gear.

angel’s desire to get healthy and get out of this place is remarkable, and just so she can go through her next round of chemo and all of its nasty side effects.

susan just walked in! yay!

Posted on January 11, 2008 at 6:05:00 PM by angel & ben ( "it's not whether you get knocked down....", 0 comments)